Patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny entailing a “boys will be boys” attitude is a kind of deep conditioning that is rooted in our South Asian culture. Women are increasingly falling prey to toxic masculinity, a trend that is sadly normalised and accepted in our community. Only if we come out of the current denial mode we are in as a society and wake up to the startling reality of gender-related violence, can we head in the direction of an equal, just, and thriving community. Pakistani citizens and public figures are once again taking to their social media handles to condemn the rampant violence against women in the country as yet another gruesome murder of a 37-year-old woman, Sara Inam, daughter-in-law of senior journalist Ayaz Amir, was murdered in Islamabad. Sara was reportedly murdered with a dumbbell, and her husband, Shahnawaz Amir, is the prime suspect. #JusticeForSara has been trending on Twitter, the micro-blogging platform as Sara’s friends and colleagues demand justice for the Pakistan- Canadian national. Many are comparing Sara’s case to that of Noor Mukadam’s, asking why it must always take a dead woman to become a top social media trend, which is eventually forgotten. Another woman was brutally murdered; another hashtag asking for justice.
In February this year, Zahir Jaffer was handed down the death sentence for the murder of Noor Mukadam. However, the sentence has yet to be carried out. Noor Mukadam’s murderer still lives. In Sara’s case, we hope that justice is seen to be done, as justice delayed is justice denied. These are high-profile cases that make it onto Twitter trends. Imagine the number of women who die at the hands of mentally deranged women whose cases go unreported because there are so many such monsters who inflict brutality on women every day without being seen and without being noticed only because these victims were or are poor and unknown. These murders have sparked a debate on a plethora of issues related to gender violence, decaying morality, and sheltering harassers and abusers. It is infuriating and unfortunate to realise that it could be any woman tomorrow. It could be someone we know. It could be a loved one, a friend or even an acquaintance. It could be anyone, just simply murdered without any repercussions. In February this year, Zahir Jaffer was handed down the death sentence for the murder of Noor Mukadam. However, the sentence is yet to be carried out. Noor Mukadam’s murderer still lives. In Sara’s case, as horrific details unfold about the murder of Sara Inam, the entire country is hoping and praying that justice will be seen to prevail, as justice delayed is justice denied.
Emerging from such cases comes the disturbing trend of victim blaming. Heinous crimes of murder, rape, acid throwing, etc. often lead to systematic victim blaming, which intentionally or unintentionally helps the perpetrators. When we focus on faulting the victim for her appearance and activities, we end up diverting attention from the crime. One reason why this happens is that stakeholders have incentives to cushion themselves from the responsibility of preventing such crimes. Instead of questioning the character of the victims, the need of the hour is better parenting where we raise our sons as not a privileged gender but rather a responsible one. Our brothers and sons ought to be brought up as men who are empathetic, kind, humane, fair, compassionate and respectful to the women around them. Being born a man does not justify any sense of entitlement or give them a licence to threaten women’s agency and exploit their vulnerabilities. Parents need to be more mindful while raising their sons and ensure they do not get away with any indecent or nonsensical behaviour. The elderly, comprising fathers, brothers, and uncles around male children and adolescents, should become role models for them to show that caring for others’ well-being does not take away but adds to their manhood.
Raising sons means creating responsible men of the future; men with integrity and heart; men who know how to respect and treat women as equals and men who know how to be gentle. Let us teach our sons how they are all the sons of Adam, which implies that being human is their only identity and being a good human being is their sole purpose of being. What we need are widespread awareness programmes to address this problem of male superiority in our society. Human life is a gift from God and is precious. Nobody has the right to harm any living being, be it a woman, a man, a child, a transgender person or an animal, under any motive or circumstance. A comprehensive approach is required where parents, teachers, the state, police, judiciary, clergy, politicians, and the media need to play their respective roles to address rising incidents of gender-based violence cases reflecting our moral decadence. It is our moral responsibility to call out men in our homes and social circles with symptoms or a history of any abnormal predatory behaviour. If we fail to do so, then we have no right to cry foul whenever such sad incidents happen, as we are all enablers of such crimes. We hope that Sara’s ghastly murder does not fade away into oblivion and is not merely reduced to another hashtag for justice but actually translates into a watershed moment and stirs our collective conscience to address the root causes of such crimes, including institutional and social failures, to emerge as a real civilised nation. From Noor to Sara and all the unreported victims of heinous crimes across the country, this is a bitter reflection of core realities, which proves the alarming need for strict legislation against perpetrators. May there never be another hashtag for any human.
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