When Motherhood Feels Lonely

By Sobia Abdul shakoor 

“Heaven Lies Beneath a Mother’s Feet , But Who Sees Her Pain”

In our society, we are taught that heaven lies beneath a mother’s feet. People glorify motherhood, praise sacrifices, and celebrate the birth of a child. But very few truly see the painful reality a woman goes through before and after becoming a mother.

In Pakistan, many women do not receive emotional support during pregnancy. And even

when support exists, it is often only because she is carrying someone’s child, someone’s heir, someone’s family name. Her pain as a woman is rarely acknowledged separately from the baby she is expected to deliver.

If a woman is considered “strong” or “independent,” people assume she can handle everything alone. Because she never complained before, they stop asking if she needs help now.

Then comes childbirth.

Hospitals become crowded with relatives waiting excitedly to see the new born baby. Meanwhile, the mother often lies alone in pain, exhausted, frightened, or recovering in an ICU bed. The celebration is for the child, while the woman who brought that child into the world quietly disappears into the background.

And when the postpartum period begins, especially after a C-section, society expects her to recover within days. According to many cultural expectations, she only deserves rest until her stitches heal. After that, she is expected to return to cooking, cleaning, serving guests, and caring for the baby often without emotional support.

People constantly tell her: “Feed the baby properly.” “Why are you giving formula milk?” “Drink this.” “Do that.”

But very few ask: “How are you feeling?”

Breastfeeding itself can be physically painful and emotionally exhausting. A woman recovering from surgery is expected to tolerate sleepless nights, body pain, hormonal changes, and feeding struggles all at once.

And if her own mother is no longer alive, the loneliness becomes even deeper.

At a time when she needs affection, reassurance, and care, she may instead feel emotionally abandoned. Husbands are often pressured to keep their families happy, while the new mother silently struggles with anxiety, sadness, exhaustion, and isolation.

Our society gathers around the new born, not around the new mother.

Nobody talks enough about postpartum depression ,the emotional darkness many women experience after childbirth. Instead, women are judged for weight gain, hair loss, dark circles, tired skin, or a changed body.

But that same body carried life. That same woman survived pain, stitches, bleeding, sleeplessness, and emotional breakdowns to bring a new soul into this world.

A mother does not simply “bounce back.” Sometimes, she spends the rest of her life carrying silent emotional wounds nobody notices.

Many women survive postpartum depression. But deep inside, they never fully return to the person they once were.

A woman going through postpartum alone, without support or help at home, is fighting battles that many people never see. She is not only recovering physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Sometimes the loneliness becomes so heavy that she starts losing herself piece by piece.

People often assume that if a woman handled pregnancy alone, she can handle motherhood alone too. But being strong and independent does not mean she does not need love, care, or attention. Even the strongest woman reaches a point where she feels exhausted, emotionally drained, and invisible.

Postpartum changes a woman deeply. The sleepless nights, constant responsibilities, hormonal changes, and emotional isolation can slowly make her numb. She stops caring about herself. Her falling hair, dark circles, tired eyes, and dull skin no longer matter to her because she is already carrying too much inside.

When a new born is born, a new mother is born too. And that new mother also needs warmth, reassurance, emotional support, and kindness. Without it, you may see her slowly losing her confidence, her happiness, and even the connection with herself.

A mother does not only need help with the baby ,some times she simply needs someone to hold her emotionally and remind her that she matters too.