Amidst Consumerism: Has Modernity Stripped Us of The Ability To Love?

By Hamza Aman

As people of an unprecedented era, we often pride ourselves on the immense progress that has been furthered in various frontiers; be it state-of-the-art technology, sophistication in medicine, ground-breaking research in natural sciences or advancement in ideals like democracy, free speech and human rights. Our age has truly witnessed the remarkable realisation of human potential, enabling us to navigate and progress in uncharted terrains. But as the adage goes, ‘there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch’. This development came at an exorbitant cost. Modernity swiftly and discreetly robbed us of the most beautiful and human of experiences—love.

A look into the annals of history suggests that love, especially in its romantic form, has never just remained an emotion. It has been a powerful unifying force that breathed meaning into life by offering to look beyond primitive human tendencies. The transcendence of social mores, as embodied in various celebrated stories, laid down a powerful moral framework of rising above oneself and praised classical themes of romanticism like selflessness, chivalry, and individual uniqueness. In philosophy, this notion of seeing people as ends in themselves was echoed by the German philosopher Immanuel Kant. Rejecting instrumentalism, he argued every human was possessed of inherent worth, distinct value, and dignity. And they must be treated as such.

However, these notions began to change in postmodern society—drastically. A plethora of factors contributed to it. Postmodern society was marked by the withering of traditional anchors like family, marriage, and community, while rapid change and the steep rise of consumer culture completely changed how we viewed love and romance . Sociologist Zygmunt Bauman employs the term ‘liquid love’ to describe this change. He argued that modern relationships had become synonymous with shopping, wherein people saw their partners as products, browsing options, comparing, and checking them out. And because that kind of relationship is based on a consumerist approach, when the initial novelty fades away, it is easy to just exit. Furthermore, in an ever-changing world, individuals fear commitment and deliberately maintain fragile bonds that can be easily discarded when inconvenient. This is exacerbated by the extreme uncertainty that characterises the culture. As everything remains in constant flux and people go through changes in job, identity or preferences, bonds remain light and flexible. The result is a hindrance in building long-term relations whose bedrock is trust, commitment, and love, as everyone becomes disposable and replaceable.

Moreover, people have formed a distorted perception of love, viewing it as something that magically happens and never fades away. This is not true and only leads to disenchantment in the long term. As the psychoanalyst Erich Fromm argues, love is an art that demands patience, discipline, and effort to cultivate. It needs constant nourishment. And true love can only flourish when it springs from abundance where you zoom in on ‘giving’ rather than ‘taking’. This kind of love not only enriches but also helps in building sound and enduring connections based on care, respect, and responsibility. Capitalist culture, however, perpetuates this need of being lovable rather than being on the giving side of the spectrum. It encourages us to market and commodify ourselves, to look good, possess status and wealth and/or cultivate certain personality traits. Thus, the culture stands in stark contrast to what is genuinely needed in fostering meaningful relationships.

People have for centuries grasped the power and potential of this elusive emotion that we call love; but it went through radical change in the past few centuries. If we desire to truly develop and realise it, we need to abandon the consumerist tendencies that have become entrenched in our society. We need to give up seeing individuals as commodities or products and rather view them in a different light—as unique and irreplaceable beings with inherent worth that deserve love. Amidst chaos and change, what we need is stillness that is built on values like commitment, trust and responsibility. And finally, we, as a people, should celebrate love as a meaningful art that requires skills, refined through patience. Only then can we realise its actual potential, and its tremendous power, where it ultimately transforms into a symbol of rebellion in the face of alienation and meaninglessness.

Bio: Hamza Aman is a Political Science student at the Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS) with a keen interest in philosophy.