I felt ignored when my baby was taken by my in-laws

My baby is 11 months old. Today my mother-in-law and my husband’s sister took him out for 3–4 hours. They had

My baby is 11 months old. Today my mother-in-law and my husband’s sister took him out for 3–4 hours. They had to go somewhere and they just took him with them. I didn’t want to directly stop them, so I asked my husband to tell them not to take him, but he didn’t say anything. They took him because they wanted me to cook dinner at home so the baby wouldn’t disturb me.

They didn’t ask me if it was okay. My mother-in-law simply announced that she was taking him. I wanted my husband to tell them that it’s okay and that we would manage, but he stayed silent. I felt very anxious the whole time my baby was away, and now I feel hurt that my husband knew about my anxiety but still didn’t stop them.

The worst part is that even after coming back, my mother-in-law is saying things that make it seem like my baby was happier with them and that he doesn’t need me. Since they returned, she has been talking as if she knows my baby better than I do, and I feel like crying. I feel very hurt and don’t know if this is normal. I feel like my baby doesn’t need me anymore, and my husband is angry at me for feeling this way.

He doesn’t understand me, even though I always try to understand him. For the past month, he hasn’t taken me or our baby anywhere, even though he goes to play snooker twice a week. I always listen to him and try to understand him, but this was one thing I was not okay with, and he didn’t respect that. Please give your advice. Thanks .

Solutions;  Azalfa Shahzadi

I was in the same situation a few days ago. But the thing is that we anxious mothers should understand that our in-laws also love our babies. It’s okay if they take them sometimes. My 1.5-year-old daughter stays with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, so it’s fine.

Sadia 

Is this your first baby? Your feelings are valid. Our emotions are heightened during this time, so remember that due to hormonal changes it is normal to feel anxious and experience these feelings for at least two years.

Know that your in-laws are not doing you any harm; it was kind of them to take responsibility for such a small baby while you could do your work. They are probably also happy and excited seeing their son’s baby happy with them. Let them be happy, because babies make people naturally and deeply happy.

And remember, no matter what, you will always be the most important person in your baby’s life because you are the mother, and that means everything. Let others help you, and recite Astaghfirullah whenever you have these thoughts and feelings. Know that everything you are feeling is completely normal.

Sheikh 

Respectfully, would you feel the same if your own mother took your son out instead of your mother-in-law? Also, would you expect your mother to ask you for permission before taking the baby out? It’s their grandson, and they are doing this out of love.

Rose 

I understand the anxiety. But if you had a problem with it from the beginning, you should have spoken up yourself instead of relying on your husband to talk for you. Regarding your mother-in-law’s comments, I’m sure she doesn’t mean it in a bad way and is more likely trying to reassure you that the baby was fine. He is her grandchild after all, and she is allowed to love him. One day, when you have more children, you will be grateful when someone offers to take them off your hands for a while  trust me, I am a mother of four.

Sohail Khan 

Haha. You are being a bit overprotective and possessive about your baby. I know what you are feeling and what you went through, haha.

But remember, nobody can match a mother’s love for her child. It’s your natural, biological, and constitutional right—no one can take your baby away from you, haha.

I think you might be new to parenting, that’s why you are reacting this way. Just relax. They love your baby too.

My mother-in-law says, “I don’t even love my own children anymore after seeing my grandsons. I love my grandchildren more than my own children, and you’ll understand this when you become a grandfather,” haha.

When she says this, her own children get upset and annoyed. Even my wife makes an offended face.

Nobody can deal with these grandparents—they are like gangsters..

Tasneem 

Your anxiety is valid. It is a very wrong thing to do. If they truly wanted to help, they would have helped you in the kitchen instead of taking the baby away.

No matter what people say, a mother should never be put in this kind of situation. She has more rights over the child than anyone else. You should have taken a stand.

People often make excuses to put mothers in such situations, claiming they are “giving relief,” but if they truly understood what it means to take the burden off someone’s shoulders, they would also understand how important it is for a mother to stay close to her child, not away from them.

The story is taken from DHA Ladies official group from Facebook and has more than 143k followers.