Stop Comparing Our Courage to Men”

By Malaika Ahmad

Recently, crimes against women have increased significantly in Punjab and across the country. A recent example is that of a 17-year-old girl who left her home to pursue education but allegedly became a victim of abduction and rape. Around the same time, the case of Dr. Mahnoor once again reminded us how vulnerable women can be to violence, harassment, and oppression. A reported incident in Quetta involving Dr. Mahnoor, where a man allegedly carried out an acid attack on her, further highlights this vulnerability. These incidents are not isolated tragedies; they reflect deeper problems within our society. Such incidents raise serious questions about the effectiveness of law enforcement and the implementation of justice. The problem is not the absence of laws; rather, it is the weak enforcement of existing ones. However, this issue is not limited to institutions alone; it is also deeply connected to societal mindset and the way norms are shaped and tolerated within communities. The way society perceives and raises men also contributes to these patterns, making it a broader structural and cultural concern. We do not need more laws on paper we need accountability, justice, and the effective implementation of the laws already in place.

We live in a society where women are repeatedly told that this is “a man’s world.” We celebrate the birth of sons more than daughters. We teach boys that men do not cry and should never appear weak. At the same time, a man who respects his wife and treats her as an equal is often mocked and labelled as being controlled by her. When a woman is strong, knows her rights, and speaks up for them, society often says, “She is as brave as a man.” But why must a woman’s courage be measured against a man? Women are brave in their own way. They continue to live, work, study, and survive in a society where they are often judged more harshly, restricted more heavily, and blamed more quickly than men.

We are not brave because we are like men. We are brave because we endure realities that many people fail to acknowledge. We do not commit gang rapes. We do not sexually abuse others. We do not kill in the name of honor, property, inheritance, or family prestige. We do not respond to rejection or refusal with acid attacks or similar violent retaliation. Yet women often become the victims of these crimes. Many women remain trapped in abusive marriages to protect family reputations. Many endure emotional torture, social pressure, and character assassination simply for making choices about their own lives. Living through these experiences and continuing to move forward requires courage that should not need comparison with anyone else’s.

Women are expected to sacrifice their dreams, ambitions, and sometimes even their safety for the sake of family honor. Many are taught how to sit, walk, speak, and laugh, yet they are rarely taught how to respond to harassment, report abuse, resist blackmail, or protect themselves from violence. They are taught their responsibilities, but not always their rights. Women should also be educated about their legal and social rights. A marriage contract should not be treated as a mere formality. Women have the right to read it, understand it, discuss its terms, and make informed decisions about matters that affect their dignity, safety, and future.

In public discussions, women’s clothing, appearance, and behavior often receive more attention than the moral education of boys. If a woman does not know the meaning of a religious term such as “Taghut,” some people are quick to label women as ignorant. Yet many of those same voices rarely speak with the same intensity about men who harass, abuse, exploit, or harm women. A woman’s clothing is not the problem; the problem is the mindset that continues to blame women while excusing those who harm them. Too often, society searches for faults in victims rather than holding perpetrators accountable. Some people seem to believe that women should simply remain silent, stay indoors, and live according to standards imposed upon them. For many, the issue is not whether a woman is right or wrong the issue is simply that she is a woman. Why do some people focus on religion only when discussing women’s responsibilities while ignoring the responsibilities assigned to men? Why has women’s modesty become the center of every debate while respect, justice, compassion, accountability, and moral conduct receive far less attention?

My question is simple: a woman may have flaws, make mistakes, or live differently from social expectations, but how often do we see groups of women staring at men in a way that makes them feel threatened, uncomfortable, or unsafe while simply walking outside? Yet many women experience this reality every day. Harassment is not limited to physical violence. Silencing someone’s voice, humiliating them, constantly insulting them, or repeatedly reminding them, “I feed you” and “I provide for you,” can also become forms of emotional and psychological abuse. Women are frequently labelled as gold diggers, yet little attention is paid to the sacrifices many women make. A woman may leave her home, her family, her dreams, and her familiar environment to build a life with someone else. She may raise children, support family traditions, and dedicate years of her life to the well-being of others. Reducing her worth to a stereotype is unfair and dismissive of those sacrifices.

If we remain silent, injustice becomes normal. Fear grows stronger, and future generations inherit the same problems. We do not need a large media platform to speak against injustice. We can begin by questioning harmful attitudes within our own homes, families, and communities.

So no, our courage should not be compared to that of men. We are brave like women.