I feel like I have no say in my marriage

My husband talks to his parents twice a day, every day, and shares almost everything—not just about the baby

I wanted to know if this is normal in other households.

My husband talks to his parents twice a day, every day, and shares almost everything—not just about the baby, but also about our daily life, plans as a couple, what we did during the day, our discussions, and basically everything from A to Z.

They also discuss baby-related matters in detail, and my mother-in-law often gives instructions on how I should take care of my own baby.

I understand being close to one’s parents, but sometimes I feel there is very little privacy in our marriage because so much of our personal life is shared. It also becomes overwhelming when parenting decisions are constantly being advised or directed.

My husband also frequently praises my mother-in-law during calls and suggests that she should come and stay with us. He seems quite dependent on her—not just for baby care, but also for food, daily routine, and decision-making.

She appears to be the decision-maker in almost everything.

At times, I feel like I am just a maid with no real authority or say in my own home.

Solutions; Rao Saleem 

Islam encourages a husband to love and respect his parents, but it also gives a wife the right to privacy, respect, and a voice in her marriage.

Sharing every detail of married life with parents and allowing them to make all decisions can create unhealthy boundaries. Parents may advise, but husband and wife should make family decisions together through mutual consultation.

Your concern does not seem to be his love for his mother, but rather feeling that your role and opinions are being overlooked. A calm and respectful conversation with your husband about privacy and shared decision-making may help.

May Allah bring balance, understanding, and peace to your family. Ameen.

Muhammad Tilal

There should be clear boundaries between relationships, and each individual should respect them. It is the husband’s responsibility to ensure that personal matters are not shared with others.

Many women may disagree with me on this, but your mother-in-law is often portrayed as being against the wife, and some believe this reflects a general tendency among women to want control—first over their husbands, and later over their sons. Because of this, it is important for women to allow space and breathing room in every relationship.

Also, this situation can sometimes happen when a woman’s attention shifts from her husband to her children. She becomes overly focused on the children, which may lead to excessive involvement and control in their lives. Over time, this can become a habit and may contribute to situations like the one you are experiencing.

Aamir 

You are lucky that he is talking to his mother and not a side chick. Let him talk as much as he wants. If he were talking to side chicks, that would be a real concern. Take it easy and try to keep things easy for everyone in your family. 

Best wishes .

Fazal Khan 

Let them share everything with their parents. There is no one better than parents. Treat them with sincerity and love as your own mother and father. Ask those who do not have a mother what the value of a mother is.

Nothing will happen to your privacy—you are not making a nuclear weapon.

Emran 

Those are the parents who raised him so well that you are now enjoying his effort, children, home, and comforts.

Try to train yourself to become a better version of yourself.

Don’t you call your own mother? You do—usually when he is not around. But he calls his parents in your presence, which is why you know about it.

What if he is also talking to them secretly? How would you even know then? Please, don’t stress yourself over this.

However, if in-laws are making comments to humiliate you—calling you lazy, useless, or disrespectful—then of course you should talk to your husband and take the matter seriously.

Ambreen

This is not normal. Having a “gossiping” husband is a form of emotional stress. He does not keep anything private about the household. Then what is the point of living separately?

He is invading the privacy of his own family. Your mother-in-law is controlling your parenting. This is a stressful and unhealthy environment to live in. You need to talk to your husband and tell him clearly that you do not like this.

This is not privacy being respected. They live in a separate home, yet they are still involved in every personal matter.

Men often dislike it when their wives talk daily to their mothers or sisters or ask for suggestions or recipes, and they create problems over it. But in this case, he is doing the same thing, and it is not right.

He should understand boundaries. Otherwise, the situation will remain unhealthy.

The story is taken from DHA Ladies official group from Facebook and has more than 144k followers.